How I'm Not Political and Stuff

Politics is a weird topic for me. I don't follow many minor details (like local goings on), but I do keep up on the nationwide and worldly topics. I know how I feel about all the issues, and most importantly my opinions are mine, not the opinons of some party that I'm supposed to support. I think for myself, even if I frequently use quotes from other people to sum up some of my attitudes (like as Bill Hicks said about abortion, "You're not a person until you're in my phone book.").

If anyone ever mentions some topic of social or political value, I immediately have a comment to add or, better yet, a question to ask. Yes, a question. My attitude is, "I already know what I think and why. I want to know what you think." I don't always get to hear their why.

So I'm not shy about stating opinions or arguing an ideology. But the other day I was having a conversation with a friend about political activism and it left me feeling strange, like I was unsure of myself.

First of all, this girl is wholly devoted to Making A Difference. Her work and attitude endlessly impress me. She's living her life as if she will make the world a better place by sheer will power alone. She seems to have an endless drive to fight the good fight, to the point of making Princess Leia look like a slacker. And she's only 21!

Heh. She would appreciate the age mention.

But she asked me what I cared about. What causes I would fight for. Animals? Human rights? Environment? Unions?

This got me to thinking how one does fight for, say, environmental rights? Blow up tractors? Write your congressman and say; "Don't dump nukes?" I can't imagine me tying myself to a tree.

I'd like to think I'm too young to start that whole "It was easier back in the old days" crap, but seriously, how much easier is it to fight for black and white to have equal rights than it is to fight multinational globalization? With one, you just hang out with black people and tell anyone who discriminates against them to fuck off ("Are too gonna sit in the front of this bus."). How do you stop Nike from using slave labor? Don't buy their shoes. Good, my First Year Activist Class. And then what do you do?

It's not just me who thinks being socially and politically active is hard to do. Most people have the attitude of "All politics is lies so what's the point in trying? The right and left are both fuckers, so I'm staying out of it."

And who hasn't voted in an election where it came down to picking the guy that you disliked the least? You don't like Bush or Kerry? You've got over a month, buddy. Go get yourself a new candidate. Best of luck to you.

A lot of people talk (too much) about who they hate and why, saying, "Man, I'm gonna do something about this," but then never actually do anything. Some people can get their messages out through independent music. The few people I know who write for newspapers have been able to get their opinions out that way. Some people start their own web sites.
But what do most people do? Bitch about Republicans or Democrats on internet bulletin boards. It's so much easier to speak your mind when you're totally anonymous and there's no fear of being held accountable for what you write.

(This doesn't include personal websites. The g-men will take you down for that, but you have to be writing some serious anarchy shit, or at least link to a site that makes homemade bombs.)
I have a strong dislike for political parties. I don't side with any of them, and I hate hearing that since I'm not a Democrat or a Republican I must be an "Independent" (capital I). "You know, like the Green Party." Ugh. I'm not really against the Green Party (aside from the stupid name, which is even worse than Whig), but I don't want to be automatically associated with it just because I don't fit into the other two categories.

People have a weird thing about labels. Words start getting new meanings that supercede the old ones. I always hate when people use words incorrectly. Like David Cross said, "if you use penultimate and you meant ultimate, well, you're only off by one, so it's not that big a deal, but if you say 'literally' when you meant 'figuratively', you totally fucked the whole word up!" "Ignorant" doesn't mean "stupid." "Momentarily" doesn't mean "in a moment."

During the conversation with my friend, I called her liberal. She laughed and said she was not liberal. I posted the definition:

Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.

Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.

Now where the fuck does it say you have to be a Republican or Democrat in that statement? (Did you know most people don't think you can be a Conservative Democrat or a Liberal Republican? You can, and they do exist.)

I'd say that anyone could be a liberal, from a certain point of view. Except maybe the Pope. I'd say he's pretty well limited by established views. I would hope, though, that he is tolerant of the ideas of others, even if he doesn't like them.

To be fair, my friend may not be "ample," another definition of Liberal.

If I have to pick some stupid label, I'd go with Bill Maher's "Fiscally conservative, socially liberal" line. Don't blow money on stupid shit, but don't tell people how to live their lives, either.
I'm not big on labels, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I believe. So I've got my beliefs in place. Now, what to do with them.

You could say that protests are arrogant, because you're basically saying, "I AM RIGHT. THESE PEOPLE ARE WRONG. BE LIKE ME!" Few people ever believe they're wrong. Do you think the people being protested know they're wrong? Like they just didn't think their plans through, and all it'll take is a few slogans and signs to open their eyes?" "Shit, Grand Moff Tarken, maybe this Death Star was a bad idea."

(Sorry for all the Star Wars references. The movies did just come out on DVD, y'know.)

But look at the reality of marches. A bunch of people getting together to walk down a street, posters in hand and slogans in mouth. Sometimes they just walk a certain path. Others, they march toward something, like when protesting city hall. The only way for a march to make any difference is for it to be either seen or documented. If a person sees a march and hears the slogans being yelled, then the protesters can be said to have made a difference, because someone heard their message. Now it's up to the listener to drop what he's doing and join the good fight, but I wonder how often that happens. Most people stand on the sidelines and watch, hoping to catch a glimpse of one of those big balloons. Or a float.

(In whatever differentiates a march from a protest, is either one invitation only? And if not, how quickly does either one turn into a mob?)

So the people there on the scene are influenced. In New York, that can mean a lot of people. What if you're protesting a snow cone company in Wild Springs, Arkansas? If you don’t happen to be driving by at that time, you're not gonna know about it.

The other way for your messages to be heard is through the media. A demonstration in New York has no effect on a guy in Montana if the news isn't there to cover it. Whatever you're protesting had better be media friendly or your cause is doomed. And what if the newspeople do show? Almost every time a march or protest is going on, a reporter sticks a mic in the face of one person (usually not the best speaker of the group) who says something rushed and stupid like, "Yeah, we're here to, uh, to protest this group because of… of... because they kill babies and… and… eat dolphins, too." That's all the airtime the protesters get. The viewer in Montana--who knows nothing of the protesters, the company, or the issue--thinks, "Fuckin' tree huggers…"

So best of luck in getting your word out with a 14" by 20" piece of poster board and a sound bite. I hope you put a web address on that card.

And the people being protested? How does it really affect them? They've got security. The police are there. They'll take care of any problems with gas and rubber bullets so the Company can get back to its closed-door secret deals.

And what if the police for some reason revolt? Say all the police decide, "Shit, man. These protesters are right. Fuck these dolphin-eatin' motherfuckers. Let's bash some heads." The police join with the protesters and then what? Break down the doors and kill everyone? Great message there. Right up with pro-lifers killing doctors. Or what else? Sit down with the people who have all the money and make all the baby-killing rules and explain to them that their ethos is wrong? "If you stop this, all those babies will be alive and you'll make millions of dollars less a year. Isn't that great?"

I see no motive to change.Or, as with the WTO, the protesters are gonna piss off the wrong people and, in the end, do nothing of any value, except have police records and be watched a little more closely.

I was stuck on the GW parkway for two hours during the WTO protest in September of 2002. Listening to the radio, I heard nothing of any value, except that there were protesters protesting the WTO. (I don't work in downtown D.C. usually, but that week I was working a convention that showcased new medical supplies and procedures, along with various hospitals and facilities. The protestors fucked it up something good. Knowing how terrible some drug companies are, maybe that was a good thing.)

That night, I went to my job as a bartender (yes, I have to tie this into restaurants somehow). I much prefer waiting tables to bartending. I don't give a shit about sports so I can't much chat it up with that kind of bar guest. Fortunately, this was a nice family-type restaurant, so I got a nice cross section of the area. All kinds of people would sit at my bar. The ages would range from the early twenties to the late sixties. Sometimes it'd just be a person who wanted a quick meal and didn't feel like sitting at a table alone. Or maybe the restaurant was on a wait and he was in a hurry to eat. Other people just liked being near the television (or the door).

We had two televisions behind the bar. One was always on sports (ugh) and the other always on news. We used to have them both on sports, but that summer the D.C. Sniper freaked everyone out so we'd gotten in the habit of always having one television turned to news.

All these news channels seemed to show the same footage of the WTO protest. Most of it was little more than kids, cops, and quick camera cuts. I remember one girl in a huge padded suit getting pushed around by other people (protesters and cops alike). She had no expression. It was very weird, like she had turned off her own mind.

There were one or two clips of people yelling. Nothing I could make out. All the footage for the entire week was like that. A few brief little fight snippets, the shot of the blank-faced girl in the padded suit, and then a talking head would go on to something else. It would have been nice to get a good interview with one of the protesters or even an expose on the WTO. But the WTO is big money, big money pays for the news, and the news doesn't want to piss big money off, so of course they're going to make all news bland, saccharin shit.

You know what I heard from the people sitting at my bar?

Not: "Great going, guys. Show those money-grubbing bastards the what for!"

Not: "Man, I really applaud those kids, standing up for what they believe in."

Not: I'd never heard of the WTO. They suck! I'm glad these protesters brought this to my attention. Someone should do something about them."

You know what I heard more than anything else? Variations of these: "Stupid fucking kids need to get a job" and "I was stuck in traffic for an hour because of those bastards."

And this is not out or two people in one night. This sort of thing is all I heard for the entire week. I was hitting fifty to sixty hours in those days, trying to pay for the video equipment I just bought. I served a lot of people.

Yes, this was just one bar in suburban Maryland. But somehow I doubt that at any of the other bars in suburban Maryland awards were being given out for Best Use of a Burning Tire by a WTO Protester. I doubt this happened much anywhere in the area. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Whenever I'd hear one of these "Stupid hippy" comments, I'd usually say (and picture me wiping a bar glass as I say this, like all the good bartenders in all the good westerns); "You know what the WTO is?"

"Who cares?" would be the response. "Those kids are dumb hippies."

"No, they're kids that understand how evil the WTO is. Let me explain this to you: the WTO goes to nations in need, like after a war or natural disaster, and says, 'Hey, guy! Having some problems? Here's some money,' and hands out enough money to get the country going again. Never mind the interest rates. We'll deal with those later. Eventually, the country's economy starts going again. That's when the WTO shows up like a bad drug dealer to collect its money. 'What? You're a little short this fiscal year? That's okay. We'll help you out. You need a new treasury department. And look, we have some treasury people right here, just for you.' Bam. Out go the natives, in go the accountants, with one priority: making money on this country. So the newly installed accountants start cutting the stuff that doesn't make any money, like health care, public works, that sorta useless crap. And, if possible, they get this country to start manufacturing something the world can use, like bombs, guns, or, who gives a damn, make some fuckin' napalm. That stuff will sell!

"(Yes, I'm exaggerating here, but not by much.)

"So this country's going to shit, but they're starting to make money. They're not keeping any of this money, because the cash is all going to pay the exorbitant interest rates the WTO charges. Maybe, in a few decades, the country will have the loan paid off, but by then, it'll be a worthless shell of its former self anyway."

I get no argument to any of this. People listen silently, like they have no interest in what I’m talking about.

"And these kids--I'm sorry, the stupid hippies--think what the WTO does is horrible, and so they're protesting it.

A short little pause.

"I don't know about all of you, but I say screw those little brown people. Their culture sucks, anyway."

This offended people. When they protested what I said, I replied, "Oh. So you agree with the stupid, dirty hippies?"

I didn't make the greatest tips as a bartender.

So while I don't think protesting really helps any (the WTO doesn't show any signs of weakening), I'm not cutting down protesters at all. It takes a lot more balls than I'll ever have to put your own life in danger just to speak your mind. They are to be much admired for standing up for what they believe in. Activism--regardless of what it accomplishes--is very cool. What have you got to show for your life, pal?

The week of the protest, I took the Metro down to D.C.--camcorder in hand--to witness this social activism in person. I was looking forward to speeches, pamphlets, cooperation, and inspiration at its finest.

What I got was a bunch of hippy kids sitting around, smoking clove cigarettes and listening to crappy music.

There were dozens of cops on the street. They weren't busting heads. They weren't in riot gear. They just stood there, watching everyone.

They didn't seem to care when I turned on my camcorder and walked around the area. I even taped them for a few minutes. The kids didn't care, either (I had the impression they all checked to make sure I wasn't form NBC or the like. I don’t remember why I thought this).

The whole scene of cops and kids to me seemed like the children were at the playground and the parents were making sure they weren't gonna fall off the jungle gym.

Only one person approached me with a hand out. It was a single piece of yellow paper that listed a website where you could read about WTO atrocities. I thanked him for the paper and he walked on. There were many of these yellow pieces of paper crumpled on the ground. I thought, "You activists obviously don't give a shit about littering, do you?"

But these weren't real activists. These were kids who wanted to get out of school. I guess all the real activists were either in jail or… (Almost made an easy "out huggin' a tree" joke there).

(Oh, I did.)

So I don't lump all activists in with these guys. There are people in the world that really care and do the best they can with what they have. Sometimes, it's just handing out food at a soup kitchen, or organizing drives to give food to the homeless. Seems like it's a lot easier to help people in your own city than it is to help some poor people you've never met on the other side of the planet.

So with protests, I can support the ideas, but in the end what good does it do?

The same with marches. More so with marches. With a protest, you have people getting the shit kicked out of them by cops, and that makes for good television. That leads to (at least a little) exposure. But a march? Just the quick, badly worded sound bite I mentioned earlier.
Again, I don't think badly of the people who organize marches and protests, I just wonder what they're actually accomplishing.

In the case of the WTO, what happened? Did the WTO get the message and start handing out food to the locals? No, they moved to another place (that was also protested) and continued their secret deals. And the secret deals are going on today. (For reference: http://www.wto.org/)

Maybe I'm wrong. I can type "Word Trade Organization" into Google and find a shitload of websites, but I can't sort through all of them to find out what effect the protesters have had on the people who matter. Did they delay a talk? Maybe. And if they did, that's great. But the talk did happen, and the same people got screwed. Maybe they got one more day of not being screwed. Or maybe the delay pissed off the wrong people, and the screwing was twofold. Never can tell with screwings.

Yes, I sound very cynical about all this activism stuff, but that's only because I wonder at the VALUE of it. I'm certainly not telling anyone to stop doing what they believe in. It just so happens that I've never been directly influenced by someone who organized protests. My influences mainly come from books and, just under that, music. I love punk music. Have since I was a teenager. If you have a message you want to get out to a large number of people, self-publishing/printing/pressing your work is the best way to do it. But one thing I noticed about the punk scene is that it mainly supported itself. The members of one band would go to the shows of another band, buy their music, and so on. There was a firm feeling of solidarity, even during the occasional times when people would get pissy and say this band sucked or that band is getting repetitive. They still supported them, even if they didn't like their style of art.

And I'm thinking this activism thing is a lot like a punk scene. Lots of kids going out and trying to make a difference with their marches, protests, and websites, but the only people who are influenced are each other. Instead of only preaching to the choir, they're diving off the stage into the choir, each trying to go higher than the last one. Ask an activist about the WTO, and he'll tell you why they suck and who's going to be protesting them next. That's great information to have and know, but it's mostly being shared with the people who already know it. Is it going to get to anyone who's in a position to do something about it? Not if all they can manage to do is get people to realize they're angry. You can't fit a political argument on a crappy, hand-held sign that says, "Fair Trade not Free Trade." What would you say if you saw this? "What's wrong with free trade? If the trade is fair, then it's not gonna be free, is that it?"

To keep this activism scene going, the kids are gonna stay tuned into the protest network on-line, keeping up with all the local events in their own areas and try to participate. That's great. But, again, they're probably not going to get many "straights" to attend. You don't see many people from nine-to-five type jobs at protests. Is it because they're robots who "work for the man?" No. They just have lives to deal with. Responsibilities. Paying rent, car loans, utilities, maintaining a household, and a bit of recreation on the side. Some of the most politically active people I've met don't have jobs and still get by on money from mom and dad. Their only responsibilities are school a few times a week.

Funny how having to feed yourself takes a bite out of your crusading time.

It's like, "Dude, I protested this group last week." "Yeah, I saw you get busted on the news. I protested this other group yesterday." "I saw you! Great sign, dude. 'Free Speech not Martial Law'. Right on! What's up for next week?" "Same thing, man. Soon as I finish my psych homework."

All right, so I'm making a few stereotypical jokes at the expense of protesters. But any group that can't take a few jokes is not the kinda group to go around changing the world. Well, in that case they'd just be Republicans.

The conversation with my friend left me feeling kinda weird because I almost got defensive about not being socially active. "But… but I try to be a good person and lead by example." Ugh. I'm glad the conversation ended fairly quickly after that.

The fact is, I don't do anything that's socially active. I do a lot of social thinking, and not just the goofy comedy routine I wrote about tonight. A good deal of my information comes from books, CDs (yes, Jello Biafra, among many others), and websites. Like anyone else, I combine this information with my other influences and arrive at opinions, which I then consider further, refining them by talking to others who are as unlike me as possible. I don't want to talk to anyone with the same ideas I have. I'd rather talk to people with totally different viewpoints (usually conservative types, but not that limited) to see what they think. The more an idea is attacked, the stronger it gets, unless it dies, in which case your next idea will be even better. The rules of survival apply to all things, real and imagined.

Now, do I have plans for all this social active thinking? Solutions to the problems of "How do you make anyone give a shit?" Yes, I do. Very elaborate plans that are so bizarre they just might work (to quote many eighties sitcoms). Will my ideas work? Won't know until I try them, and I have a lot more to learn before I do.

Not that I’m going to write my plans for saving the world in a blog. But if the world were saved one day, I sure would like to be able to take the credit.

With the next entry, I'll be back to good old-fashioned restaurant irritations.