Just got back from the video store (Yeah, it was Blockbuster. Can't help it anymore. All the nice local chains have closed, except the two that SUCK. If "Air Force One" is still a new considered a new release, I don't need to be there.)

First off, to get it out of the way, I rented "Fog of War" and "Melvin Goes to Dinner."

You ever notice on the covers of movie boxes for romantic comedies that the characters almost always have the same expressions? I think I've narrowed the traditional boy/girl romantic comedy covers down to two:

The boy looks nervous and the girl looks self-assured (imagine a guy looking right at the camera with both eyebrows raised while the girl has her arms crossed in the back ground, with a knowing smirk on her face).

The girl looks off into the distance, with either an expression of wonder or calm, while the boy looks at her with marvel and/or envy.

Basically, in romantic comedies ("rom-coms" Ugh.), boys are stupid and scared, and girls are smart and spiritual (lot of S's there).

I like paying attention to stupid traditions in movies almost as much as I like noticing stupid traditions in speech. I'll try to always provide new ideas, at least one notch above "Ever notice how many trailers start with 'In a world...'"

How horrible it'd be to write about some social pattern when it has already become part of a stand up comic's standard routine. "And what is the deal with airline food...?"

I especially enjoy looking at the cover of "Paycheck" (Oh, how poor PKD is mangled on the screen.). Here's what the characters are thinking just as their pictures are being taken: Ben Affleck: "I think something terrible is about to happen to me, coming from RIGHT OVER THERE!" Uma Thurman: "What? Something terrible? Right over WHERE?" Aaron Eckhart: "Heh-heh. I'm doing something terrible-- Right. Now."

Didn't bother seeing the movie, though I did like the short story. Someday, maybe. (If I can watch "Timeline" after reading the book, I can probably get through this.)

Stuff I almost rented but didn't:

"Rundown" Looks like a lotta good bonus features. And I always like a good action movie.
"Dogville" Wasn't in the mood for it tonight. By the way, I don't like Bjork's music at all.
"The Weather Underground" A fine documentary, by all accounts.
"My Voyage to Italy" The Martin Scorsese documentary that all film dorks will watch.

And that's all I can remember. They had a three for twenty-five sale on used movies. Too bad the only one I wanted was "American Splender."

I love movies.

I'm out of comments. Tommorow's my birthday.

Yes, so I went on for a while about "There you go" because it's bothered me for a long time. The way people use language in general has always interested me. Can't help noticing these things, and then making fun of them. I had a great time when "My bad" first got popular. A lot of people get really pissed when you goof on their new speech patterns. I think it's more a case of people not liking having to think about themselves, their lives, and the way they relate to the world.

The easiest way to piss anyone off is to ask him to think about his beliefs. Never does a simple "Why?" cause more damage.

I tried to gain popularity for the phrases "My good" and "It's all bad" for when I did something correctly or someone else fucked something up for me, respectively. They didn't catch on.

(That last was pronounced "S'all baad," by the way.)

Here are two new things I've heard a lot more lately (not to say they're new, just that they're being used a lot): "Exactly" and "Pretty much."

If you make a somewhat witty or wry observation about work, usually to the effect of "The management doesn't give a fuck about us workers" or "Our coworker's a two-faced whore," and the person you're talking to is in agreement but has nothing to add, he'll say, "Exactly" or "Pretty much." They both mean the same thing.

"Exactly" is almost always pronounced "Egg-ZAAKK-ly" with a bit of a drop in tone at the end.

"Pretty much" is usually said with a slight smirk, but not a happy one. More like the expression to accompany "Man, I can't believe how the powers that be in this country continually fucks us. This sucks."

Many times, the person will only be agreeing with you because you're standing in front of him and the person you're talking about isn't. In that case, people being the gutless sheep they are these days, he won't want to add to what you're saying, but he wants to stay on your good side, so saying, "Pretty much," allows him to agree with you without anyone accusing him of also being against the person in question.

Yesterday, I said something to the effect of "customers suck" and a coworker responded, "Exactly. Pretty much." Very little pause there. He wasn't correcting himself.

Later I said to this same guy something like "Money sure sucks on Friday nights lately." "Exactly."

Then, "All women love to fuck random guys." "Exactly."

So basically, if you make an observation that someone else doesn't disagree with, but can't really contribute to, either because you said it so well or he's too busy to really care (like with "There you go"), he'll either say "Exactly" or "Pretty much."

I've noticed for over ten years that Americans are devolving into a race of nonsense phrase spouting absent-minded morons. At least there are a few variations in the phrases along the way.

An example for waiters: If you see someone sitting at a table in your restaurant that you were at one time very friendly with but haven't seen in a while, find an excuse to go talk to the people at his table, like refill drinks or drop off some food. While there, ask, "How is everyone?" Your old friend will glance at you and say, "Howyadoin'" with the usual lack of enthusiasm everyone has when slinging that phrase out to people he doesn't know. But he will most likely glance at you briefly as or after he says it and then he'll recognize you. Then he'll ask you how you're doing, even though he just asked less than a minute ago. He only meant it the second time, obviously.

It's because of stupid observations like this that I frequently hear "You've got WAAAY too much time on your hands."

They're right. I suppose I could be out drinking a beer right now, or watching television. Maybe both at once.

Worthless fact: I never ask anyone how he's doing unless I genuinely give a shit.

Having spent so damn much money on all my computer/audio/video equipment, I've decided to give up buying movies, choosing instead to rent or borrow them. The libraries in St. Charles had over 2000 DVDs when last I was there in March. When I returned to Montgomery Village, I hoped to find an equal (or better) collection in our local library system. I found none.
But then, about a month or so ago, a new rack displayed two titles. Some Yves Montand movie from the middle sixties, and, I think, "The Godfather." The next few times I stopped by the library, this rack was completely empty. Not surprising, considering the library doesn't charge anything to borrow movies (a buck a day for DVD late fees, but that's reasonable).
Now that it's been up a while, and not quite as popular, I find more and more DVDs each time I visit. Usually, they're movies I already have or don't want to watch (is anyone out there a big Yves Montand fan?). But then, last night, I found two movies I've wanted to see for some time.
One is the DVD collection of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." I've heard this sucks, yes, but I'd still like to see it. I almost bought it many times, but who wants to pay thirty bucks for a movie (series) everyone says is terrible? Besides, you can find the episodes on-line. All I really wanted to see were the bonus features, like the documentary about Douglas Adams (alas).
(From this same library, I borrowed the CD of "The Salmon of Doubt." If you like Adams' writing, I highly recommend it.)
The "Hitchhiker" DVD was in perfect shape, and included the paper insert. People usually lose those. Stupid bastards. But I've already gone off on people who lose CDs out of books.
The other DVD is "A Man For All Seasons." Best movie of '66. I've never seen it. The DVD has both versions, widescreen on one side, pan and scan on the other. A fine way to put out a movie. The real version, for people who care about film, and the shitty, chopped up version, for people who don't.
The real point of this post: When I went to play the widescreen version of the movie, I couldn't, because some moron had written, in big, permanent marker numbers, some catalog code on the disk itself!
This was not vandalism by a library borrower. This is some code put there by a person who works in the library. I've never worked in a library. I don't know who does the purchasing and cataloguing. One would think that this would be an experienced person, familiar with all types of media, and what not to do with them. Did this person, years ago, use a razor blade to etch numbers into the A side of a record? Or recently use white out to put a code on the magnetic tape of a video cassette?
I saw about two minutes of this movie before the disk could no longer be read. At least I got to see enough of it to know there's not that much lost in the pan and scan version.
And if I really cared that much, I'd go and buy the movie myself. It's only about sixteen bucks.
So this is just another thing to bitch about, like most blogs in the world.
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Say, I was rereading parts of "Braindroppings," because I still think George Carlin is one of the funniest angry people around. Besides that, I rant about similar kinds of stupid language usage (like in my last post). Always good to revisit a master. Then I read this part:
"And let's lose these guys who think it's cute to say, "Ouch!" when someone delivers a small put-down."
Shot down by the master!
I've decided to retract my reply. Instead, I offer this: "Anytime I say what I think is meant by 'There you go' (as in the last post) someone listening says, at the end and after a movie-perfect pause, 'There you go,' as if no one has thought of using that clever response already. Some people give the also popular 'Someone has WAAAAY too much time on his hands…' I'd add, 'You need to get a life,' as a response, but I hear that anytime I talk about anything other than reality television and pop music. I'm waiting for someone to say something totally original, like 'I think I'm going to kill you, mother fucker, for making me feel small and stupid, especially when I say such standard staples of stupidity like Nuklear, Jewlary, and Relator. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having someone else do my thinking for me!'"
I like words. They're fun to think about. And I don't drink much and I stay away from video games. Frees up lots of mental processing time. I can even multitask in my own head.
Now, to piss off somebody somewhere, the anti-woman joke of the day: "What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives shelter?" "The fucking dishes if she knows what's good for her."